My friend, Steve Olson, asked his readers what we thought his blog was about. Then he went on to challenge a few of us to ask our readers the same question.

First, let me answer Steve’s question. I think that your blog is about provoking thought and civil discussion. You kick off heated discussions where everyone feels comfortable pitching in their opinion. Sometimes, through the open sharing that happens on your site, your readers adopt a new perspective. You don’t defend your points, but you encourage the conversation. I think we need a lot more of that in life and in politics particularly. We’re not all going to agree, but it’s important to start building platforms where people feel heard. Your site does that.

Here are a few examples of thought provoking posts and the heated passionate discussions that followed.

• 10 Things I Wish I Never Believed
• Is Morality Relative?
• What Do You Want, More or Less Freedom?
• The Truth About Oprah, the Secret, and Poverty
• Why I Am No Longer a Republican (and Never Was a Democrat)

And now I ask you, my wonderful readers, what Balanced Life Center is about to you.

In Spirit,
Nneka

So you’re in the thick of the situation, and you read somewhere that if you surrender you might gain clarity, but how do you surrender? If it’s not just giving up, then what do I do that’s different?

1. Apply the Serenity Prayer

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference.

Identify what you have control over in the situation, and what you don’t. You already started with one thing you can change, your emotions. By becoming calm, you have a command center. Is there anything else that you can change? Have you done all that you can in the the situation? If not, do what you can to make the situation better. In the case of my house, it was ensuring that it is was in the best shape possible, following up with the mortgage company to find out my options, calling my friends who are investors to find out what they would look for. Do the things that you can.

When you have changed what you can, release what you cannot. This might be tough because it might not be apparent that you could do anything else. Release it and get yourself on a higher plane where you have some perspective on the situation.

2. Be still

I know I say it a lot, but really, if you can get your mind to calm down, you are 99% of the way to a solution. Better than that, you’ll have the mental and physical energy to execute it.

Journal, meditate silently, go for a walk, do a kickboxing class, whatever it takes to work off the anxiety and get your mind to a clearing. Once there sit for 15 minutes in silence and pay attention to the moment. Acknowledge that all is well in those moments. Just for those moments. Feel the calm and ease as you relinquish the situation.

You want to move into a space where you feel totally open and at one with the essence of Life.

3. Recognize the there is nothing to fix

If you are currently in a crisis, make sure that you are complete with the first 2 steps, this is going to be a tough one. This is where it can feel like you are giving up or getting exhausted. It’s not the same thing.

You are a part of the energy of Life, a part of Spirit. In Spirit, all is well. Everything is as it needs to be in this moment. Right now. With all the stuff that is swirling around, you are centered. You are in the eye of a hurricane and there is absolutely nothing to fix or to change.

There is absolutely nothing to fix. You only need to know this fully for one moment, just the blink of an eye. In that moment, the paradox happens. There is nothing to fix, and you are presented with the perfect solution.

4. Forgive yourself

Now that you have the solution, let yourself off the hook about the problem. Whether it’s guilt over knowing that you “created” this problem with your thoughts, or flogging yourself for turning left instead of right, you need to release it.

Remember, there is absolutely nothing to fix, and that includes you. You’re off the hook. You took responsibility for your part in the situation in step one. You don’t have to keep replaying the tape. It is finished.

In Spirit,
Nneka