This morning I got a visit from my dead grandparents in meditation. Within moments of slipping into meditation I “saw” them. Saw is not really an accurate word, neither is heard or felt. It was more an impression.

The whole concept of relating to the deceased and spirit guides is foreign to me. I’ve been a by-the-book God person from my inception. Not a God in the sky idea, but a notion of God as the Essence of Life. I even bypassed Jesus. My thinking was that if God is everywhere present and accessible, why do I have to go through all these people (saints, Mary, Jesus, Buddha), or entities (spirit guides, deceased, angels) to access It. I discounted the whole ball of wax. So this morning when I was greeted by the impressions of my grandparents I was a bit, how can I say, caught off guard.

They came to assure me that I am loved and to explain some things about my family dynamics. They were very effective. However, the visit prompted a core question: What happens when we die?

I think when we die we recede into Source, otherwise known as God/Consciousness/Spirit. When we are born, we re-emerge. It appears that we forget our experience as Source. I think we remember until we are convinced that it’s not so. Here are a few other ideas that I kicked around when the question of why we forget came up.

Why Do We Forget?

I think forget where we came from for the same reason we are admonished to live in the moment. In the moment we have access to all the Knowledge, Substance, Love, Joy, and Good things. It is All available right now.

Our memory serves more to cloud our perception of what we can and cannot be, do or have. Just memories from childhood limit what we think we can do. Our so-called knowledge about science keeps us from defying it or even thinking that it is defiable (until someone does it). Imagine if we had lifetimes of such information.

Better to be completely present and choose from the Infinite Realm of Possibilities that is readily available.

Would our Memories of Past Lives Hinder our Experience of This One?

I don’t think it’s the memories per se that would limit our conscious development. Rather, it’s our clinging to something that is not in the present. It was an experience. It happened. It’s not happening now, and our point of power is now.

Let’s take an example of a good thing in the present. Say you have a great 11 year old birthday. Your family was happy. Your parents were there. You had a lot of friends. Soon after, your parents got divorced, you had to move, and you lost your circle of friends. You became very isolated in the new city. Yet you cling to that experience. In one sense, it helps you to feel better. In another sense, it is preventing you from choosing in this moment to create new friendships.

Now imagine if you were a king in one lifetime or a pleb in another. A lot of us have the tendency to cling to memories as if they were happening now. That’s what inhibits us from living the life that we want, or in other words, from consciously creating the life that we want.

Doesn’t It Make More Sense To Remember?

At any given moment, we have access to All Knowledge and experience. We have access to our other incarnations as well as the incarnations and current lives of everyone else. In each moment, we have that access. So it wasn’t really “nuked”. We just aren’t aware of it.

What Happens When We Die?

Consider that God/Consciousness/Spirit is the ocean and you are a wave emerging from the ocean. So is grandmother, Lena. When she dies, she recedes into the ocean. Can you pin point a wave in the ocean when it has receded?

This is what I’ve experienced. As I became disciplined and consistent in my meditation, I felt like my edges were sandpapered. It scared the bejesus out of me because my edges were disintegrating. This prepared me for the next phase in which I felt like I had no ends. I just faded into the “ocean”. Today, I can overlap with other people’s consciousness.

We become attached to our individuality to the extent that we believe that it is the singular entity incarnating again and again. But it’s not you with edges in a container that comes in and out unless you choose too. I wouldn’t be surprised if people have experienced past life regressions where they were 2 people living at the same time.

My theory is - and a little bit of experience - that we emerge out of the ocean as a composite. Once we recede into it, we are no more. Sometimes people have a tough time returning because they want to stick together. I felt this as my edges were being sandpapered. I had great resistance to disintegrating.

We can disintegrate and reintegrate at any moment.

In Spirit,
Nneka

Consciousness is all there is, was, and ever will be. In essence, it is God or Spirit.

Consciousness/God/Spirit does not have a beginning or end, but it chose to come into expression as you. Your body to Consciousness is like you putting on your clothes in the morning and going out into the world, if your clothes were integrated with your body - like the suits in the movie Fantastic Four.

Some people do “remember”, some of us don’t. Different people remember to different degrees. Some people have a vivid memory of being pure Consciousness, some don’t. We are always pure Consciousness in expression, it is who we are. The degree to which we are aware of this determines whether we “remember”.

The word remember connotes a past, but there is no past. You are here now. Always in existence. I haven’t figured out how to explain this yet, but it makes sense in my being.

Consciousness and Intentions

Consciousness from this perspective does not intend. If we were referring to it as you, conscious and subconscious mind, that would be true. However, it is not your Consciousness that intends say peace, it is you (or lowercase c-consciousness). Consciousness/God/Spirit is peace. What you are intending is to align yourself (your beliefs, your mind) with what already is. How much peace you manifest or experience is determined by how much you allow pure consciousness to express through you. Add to that, you have a unique blend of experiences, skills, and talents that allow you to express and experience peace uniquely (the how). You are the filter, so to speak.

The same with love. Consciousness/God/Spirit is love. People are loving because they express Consciousness. Some people let it flow freely, some people block it. Some people are aware of letting it flow or blocking it and some people aren’t.

Consciousness and Growth

God/Spirit/Consciousness is all knowledge. Hence the saying, “there is nothing new under the sun.”

You are here to express and experience Spirit. Growth the way we see it might be the progression of expressing more and more of it like Hawkins’ Power vs. Force scale.

I’m not sure that we have to progress in awareness, expression, and experience at all. It seems to me that babies express more of Spirit than adults. Some of us might realize that’s what we want to do and how we want to do it, then start trusting, becoming aware, expressing, and experiencing gradually. But I don’t think there’s any rule that says that that’s the way it has to be.

Your level of awareness, expression, and experience is determined by how much you trust or are open to It. Try as you might to be completely open, there are still parts of you that insist that it just can’t be that way.

As a practical example, take money. I believe intellectually that Consciousness is infinite supply. However, I also harbor another belief, and I believe this viscerally because to me it is reinforced by my experiences. I believe viscerally that I have to put in a certain amount of work to get money.

I could have an epiphany and suddenly believe in my core that I don’t have to do any amount of work for money (I’ve done that a couple times in my life and it appeared from the ethers), or I could “grow” into the idea that there is indeed infinite supply.

It’s not Consciousness that will be growing, it will be my capacity to express and experience it.

Nothing is outside of consciousness.

In Spirit,
Nneka