One of the great advantages of giving service is gaining a wealth of experience. I served on the Board of a 400 member organization for 3 years. The last year, I served as the Board President. What I learned as a leader of that organization was priceless. It would take years of seminars and hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of coaching to equal the leadership experience and knowledge acquired.

Manage Up, Mentor Down

As Board President, I, along with the rest of the Board, was the boss of the CEO of the organization. We were accountable to the members of the organization and had sole purview to hire and fire the CEO. In this position, one can be tempted to rule with an iron fist. However, that method doesn’t benefit anyone.

I found it beneficial to adopt the mantra, “manage up, mentor down.” When you are someone’s manager, team leader or boss, your job is to enable that person to be successful. When your employees are successful, they make you shine. As a manager, it is your responsibility to provide the tools, resources, and direction needed by your employees.

It is also your responsibility to manage your customer expectations. You customer may be actual customers, shareholders, members of an organization, or your boss. After conferring with your employees to determine what they need to be successful, it is your job to relay this information to your customers.

Let’s say you are a project manager for an IT project. You’ve met with your clients and received a project charter. Rather than lord over your team members to ensure that every “i” is dotted and every “t” crossed, you can let them know that precision is extremely important to this client and ask them what they need to achieve the highest level of precision. At the same time, you can set the expectation with the client that the level of precision expected will require more time, money, or staff. You might also work with the client to relax their standards to a level with which both parties are comfortable.

Most managers work the other way around. They cow tow to clients and promise the moon. Then they turn around like a drill sergeant with their team. In my experience, I’ve found that you burn relationships, deliver unsuccessful projects, and generate unwarranted stress when you do this.

Take the time to cultivate relationships with your employees and your stakeholders. Be a bridge between both parties, rather than a referee.

Share Ownership

When you’re the leader of a 400 member organization, everyone seems to look to you to fix everything. It was tempting to be the savior, but much more enriching to engage the members of the organization.

When employees, customers, and other stakeholders engage in solutions, ownership shifts from the few to all. When everyone owns the organization, everyone feels responsible. Ownership is not just about paying for a service. Oftentimes, members and shareholders say that they own an organization because they monetarily donated, or paid for a share. Ownership is about doing the work to make the organization succeed. In order to foster ownership of your organization, encourage and empower your stakeholders to:

• Participate in events sponsored by the organization;
• Engage in the planning process of the organization;
• Take the initiative to solve their problems;
• Provide a solid financial base.

Everyone wants an opportunity to share their expertise. A good leader encourages and empowers everyone to use all of their skills.

Pay Attention To What Is Shown AND What Is Said

After moving to a new location, some of our long-standing members started to complain about accessibility to the building. On the surface, this was a valid problem. You needed a key, then a pass code to get into the building. Before, anyone could breeze in and out. There was a sense of familiarity and ownership.

Naturally, we sought to remedy the problem by giving access to those members and providing a doorbell so that it would be easy for members to come in and out of the building. And naturally, this did not really solve the problem.

You see, the members were complaining about the loss of that sense of familiarity and ownership which showed up as not getting into the building. Once access was provided, the complaints moved to another manifestation of that loss.

Only 7% of verbal communication comes from our words. The rest of it comes from voice inflection and body language. When listening to your staff and stakeholders, it is important to listen behind the words so that you can understand what they truly intend to communicate. You don’t need to guess what they are trying to say. You can ask questions, as you notice their body language and vocal tone, to clarify what they are saying. At the end of the conversation, it’s helpful to provide a summary statement and wait for the reaction. If someone says, yes, you got it right, but they look resigned, continue to ask until there is a sense of simpatico.

Live in Limbo

As a leader, it’s not your responsibility to fix everything. In fact, the less you are personally responsible for fixing, the better off your organization. It would mean that your organization is rich with resources and its own leadership pool.

Limbo is a tough spot to live in. If you are a natural leader, you want to get the job done and conquer. It may be difficult to witness your organization struggle. As a leader you will need to correctly identify problems, correctly assess the skills and passions of your people, and effectively match the problem with the people. They will have fun and relish the opportunity to fix the problems for you and to the benefit of the entire organization.

While you are waiting to match the problem with the people, you will need to sit with the situation without fixing it.

Be An Example

Whatever you expect from your team, you must be willing to exemplify. You want a team that’s punctual, you have to show up before everyone. You say a lot by your actions. Your actions build the construct for your team. You can list the rules of engagement on a poster on a wall. You can put them in policy manuals and have reams of orientation material. In the end, your team will mirror their behavior after yours.

Teach, Don’t Talk

You know the saying, “Give a man a fish, feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, feed him for a lifetime.” It’s the same with leadership.

When you tell your team what to do without giving them reason or context, they can follow the instructions and complete the task. However, when they need to do the same thing again, you will need to tell them again. On the other hand, if your provide for them the context for the directions, the next time the situation arises they can execute without your presence.

Another reason to teach your team and provide context, is that they may come up with solutions that you could not have conceived on your own. It may take a little more work on your part and a more time initially, but it will pay high dividends for you and expedite execution in the future. Best of all, you’ve empowered your team to execute without your direct influence.

Praise Publicly, Punish Privately

When you chastise your staff publicly, you are alienating yourself from them and making your job as a leader infinitely difficult. It’s bad enough if you chastise the group as a whole. If you single one person out, you are embarrassing that person and you cause irreparable harm to that relationship and your team.

Take team meetings, and other public events as opportunities to praise you team for their performance and highlight individuals who excelled. Take personal evaluations or one and one meetings to discuss weaknesses or short comings.

You shine as a leader when you empower and enable every individual on your team to shine.

In Spirit,
Nneka

The year 2007 was summarized in a quote from the movie The Great Debaters:

“We do what we have to do so we can do what we want to do.”

In 2007 the word was foundation. I actually did it. In the past, I skipped right past foundations and propelled myself into endeavors. I was well meaning, but the fallout from the crash would put me back 5 steps from the beginning. This time around I feel I have a set point. The most amazing part: It only took a year!

In 2008, my word is capacity. Why capacity?

Financial

Building a foundation meant that I got to a position where I created a budget that I could stick to and pay my bills on time. Increasing financial capacity means that money is the last factor in my decision making. Rather than taking a job to pay the credit card bills that have stacked up over the years, I can do work that is in alignment with my purpose with the question of money last on the list. It means that I have the financial resources to plow into projects that provide meaning. To a certain extent, it will translate into more time to pursue passions.

While I do small things every day that are in alignment with my purpose and I do pursue my passions with the resources that I have, it is just that. Building capacity will help me to do more. An important thing to note is that I’m not waiting to have the money in order to pursue my passions. I am pursuing my passions and living in alignment with my purpose to the max right now. With greater capacity, I will be doing more of that.

Physical

One of my measurable goals this year is to walk 750 miles. That means 3 miles a day, 5 days a week. The true objective is to become active. Physical capacity will give me the energy, vitality, and clarity to serve more and to live more fully. With my exercise goal, I am certain that I will also shed some pounds (it’s happening already). My skin is clearer and I feel sexier. It all works together to enrich my life.

Emotional

Increasing my emotional capacity will probably get the most attention this year. The other facets I feel are on auto-pilot, but the emotional aspect of my life will require focus. By emotional capacity, I mean that I want to open my heart. I’m a decided thinker according to the Myer’s Briggs and I love that aspect of myself and my ability to analyze. However, I would like to be a more compassionate person, with myself and others.

I have the remarkable ability to see clearly through any situation to the highest solution. In the process, I often ignore the process that the person is going through to get there. I know that I’ve done that with myself and at least one other person in the past. This year, I would like to be present in moments of pain and joy. They are both states. No more trying to escape it by looking forward to the end result. I’m not sure how I’m going to accomplish this, but I’m sure that I’ll know when I have.

To be completely honest, there is a part of me that is very afraid I’ll become a sap and I won’t be able to think logically, but I know deep within that this will only enhance my capacity to be a change agent in the world. It will also help me to be a clearer expression of God.

Spiritual

Spiritual capacity, what can I say? Enhancing and building spiritual capacity gives you access to all the resources in the Universe. There is only so much that I consciously know or was taught. A little bit more that is hanging out in my subconscious that I may have consciously forgotten, but might be able to tap into if pressed. I have the mental ability to do research and find the things I know I need, but what about the things I don’t know I need?

Often in life, you don’t know the right questions to ask in order to get the information you need. In short, you don’t know what you don’t know. The collection of all knowledge is held in the Universe. When I tap into that source I am nudged in directions I would not ordinarily head. Or I might be where I was going, but I observe something that helps an idea click.

Spirit is the underlying energy of everything and everyone. It is coursing through us, a resource seldom tapped. It is crying out to express through you and me to create the world we want. We are trained to look to our intellect, colleagues, the media, friends, and family for information and wisdom. We need to train ourselves to tap into the Divinity within us. That still, small voice that nudges you to the left or right. The feeling that you have when you know you need to call your friend and it turns out they needed a shoulder to cry on. Spirit is not above being the whack on your head that’s telling you to get out of the wrong job or start sharing your Truth.

Increasing your spiritual capacity means that you set yourself in the flow of life and become wide open for all the good in the Universe to come through you. You will begin to see your world change and take on a vibrancy that you could not have painted if you were Michaelangelo. It is in you, yearning to come forward. Increased spiritual capacity means a knowing that all is working together for good set so deeply within you that even in the most dire circumstances you can say, “Thy will be done.”

Meaning and Purpose

Building financial, physical, emotional, and spiritual capacity will enable you to live in alignment with your purpose. It will help you to live your life with meaning.

Please don’t interpret this as me saying that if you don’t have money or vitality or if you have emotional problems, you cannot live your purpose. I am living proof that you can live your purpose right where you are in your life. Giving your life purpose has to do with living in alignment with your values. It means doing the things you love, being yourself in all situations, and having the resources to do it.

Capacity is not a prerequisite to living a full life. It just enables you to have the backing to make decisions in alignment with who you are. A good example is the work you choose, I’ll take my life. My purpose in life is to express God in every moment and help others do the same. The first part is easy. It’s my choice. The second part, helping others do it, is a bit tricky. I currently work in IT in state government. Every day I go to work as open to expressing Spirit as I can for the day. I ask to be an instrument of Spirit. When I hold meetings with business users, I’m not only there to gather requirements, but to hold the space for the best possible outcome. This is all great.

However, I’d like to teach others how to hold that space in their lives as they fulfill their purpose. I do it a little with this blog. I talk to co-workers. I volunteer in organizations to be that person. I would like to do it for a living. Having the financial resources, being emotionally and physically healthy, and becoming a bigger container of Spirit is enabling me to move in that direction.

New years always bring great promise. By increasing your capacity in all the major areas of your life, you feel more fulfilled. Your life becomes robust, full, and balanced.

In Spirit,
Nneka