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This post is a part of the Season of Gratitude Series. You can participate by writing a gratitude post and telling me about it. For more details, click here.

I remember looking forward to my 18th birthday eager to finally be an adult. Excited to be able to live life on my own terms, to defy my parents.

Looking back at the 15 years since then, I find that I really lived my life as I thought I should. I made my decisions based on what would defy my parents the most, what would cause the least perceived pain, or what was the next accepted step for someone of my upbringing. Although I wanted to live my own life, I ended up living the lives of those I observed. I did the things that I thought would get me to success. However, my idea of success was based on those around me. It was based on the examples in my life.

Success for me meant living in a grand house with a large family while managing a thriving career. I was well on my way to living up to that ideal when I realized that maybe, it wasn’t what I wanted. It scared the crap out of me!

Suddenly, I was left with no compass, no road map for my life. The irony is that my parents, especially my father, did everything for me to have opportunity. They imposed very little of their beliefs on my brother and I. Despite this, I was sure they expected certain things of us, and lived my life accordingly.

Over the past year and a half, I’ve been exploring what it means to be me. I’ve been working on becoming an adult. For my 33rd birthday, I took a freedom trip. I spent a week in San Francisco by myself. The idea was to find my boundaries and push past them. Not blow them away, just expand the edge a bit.

In that week, it hit me like a 2 by 4. This is my life!

I can choose to do whatever I want with it. There are no boundaries except those imposed by me. I am truly an adult. The best part: I will always be my parents’ daughter. I am now aware that I am standing on the firm ground of unconditional love while looking towards wide open spaces before me.

Today, I am grateful for this realization. I am grateful for becoming an adult, for all the opportunities that my parents’ sacrifices afford me. What are you grateful for?

In Spirit,
Nneka

This post is a part of the Season of Gratitude Series. You can participate by writing a gratitude post and telling me about it. For more details, click here.

This post is also part of the Keys to Happiness Series. The keys to happiness are courage, generosity, connection, clarity, presence, non-attachment, and gratitude.

Gratitude is the cheapest, most effective way to happiness.

Let’s play a game. It’s a combination of I Spy and old-fashioned popcorn. Take a look around the room that you’re in and find something pleasing. Say to yourself, “I’m grateful for…” One kernel of popcorn pops. Take a look around again, find something else. Say, “I’m really glad to have xxx in my life.” And another kernel pops. Go again. “I’m really thankful for…” Are they coming faster? Is joy beginning to percolate in you?

Gratitude affords you the opportunity to live in a positive mental state regardless of the appearances. You’re not living in denial when you choose to be thankful for what you love about your life. You do actually love it. There’s no need to falsely convince yourself that you are thankful for things you don’t want. What you do is focus almost entirely on the things that bring you joy.

When you shift your focus and start practicing gratitude, you’ll find that you have even more to be thankful for. The more you give thanks, the more it expands. Soon you will look around and find that you have less and less in your life that you don’t want, and more of what you do want.

Giving thanks reconditions your mind towards hopefulness and optimism. It clears out the sludge that is blocking your good from coming to you. It aligns you with Spirit and the Source of who you are. It reminds you that you will have all that you need.

Today, as part of the Season of Gratitude, I am grateful for all that life is offering me. In particular, the opportunity to blog. What are you grateful for today?

In Spirit,
Nneka