This post is a part of the Season of Gratitude Series. You can participate by writing a gratitude post and telling me about it. For more details, click here.

When I moved, back in June, I wanted to be close enough to work so that I could walk. In the beginning, I diligently did so, but with the summer heat I tapered off. Six weeks ago, I got involved with a Mastermind group and committed to walking 750 miles over a year. That’s about 15 miles a week.

I set that goal so I can get in the habit of being active. I want daily activity to be a part of my routine. I don’t just want to go to the gym and pound out an hour on the treadmill. Nothing wrong with that, but I wanted to feel into my body, wake it up, feel alive and mobile.

The 3-mile round-trip work commute is doing wonders for helping me to achieve that goal. There are also some special perks that come with walking to work.

Gas Savings

In 6 weeks, I used one tank of gas (granted I was out of town one of those weeks). To put things in perspective, when I lived in the suburbs I used a tank of gas a week, sometimes in 4 days. I save close to $75/month on gas alone.

More Time

The remarkable thing is that when I drive into work, it takes me 20 minutes door to door to go 1.5 miles between getting to a parking space and walking from that space to the building door. By walking, I take 30 minutes, AND, I get some exercise in for the day.

In addition to the time saved by the dual purpose commute, a strange time warp occurred. I used to get home at 6pm, now I get home at 5:30pm. It’s not travel time that I’m saving, it’s errand time. Time that I used to take to stop into the grocery or putz around, inefficiencies time. Now, I run my errands on Saturday mornings. No more rushing to the post office in the evening, or battling hoards at the grocery. I’ve streamlined my time.

Mental Space and Clarity

Walking to work is like one big OM in the morning. Walking home, after, is like a big AH. I feel open and pure, ready to take on the day. By the end of my morning commute, blood is zinging around my body and I can feel my nerves firing off commands. On my way into work, new ideas scamper around in my mind. I’m alert and happy. Most of all, I’m open. Spirit is coursing through me.

On the way home, any crud that I picked up during the day is shaken off. On the way home, I open up again. All the residue from the day, the angst, or disappointment, or alarm, is gone.

I think this is why I feel there is so much more time. It’s like I start a second day.

Awareness

Walking around in a city, you have to pay attention. You practice being in the moment by listening for cars that come from behind, or looking at where you step so you don’t end up tripping on the sidewalk.

I am more aware of my surroundings when I walk to work. Not just the things that I have to be aware of for safety reasons, but other people walking around the city, the birds chirping in the morning, sunlight coming through the orange leaves on trees making them glow.

Today, I am grateful for my walking commute. What are you grateful for?

In Spirit,
Nneka

I shared my story about how I transitioned from eating compulsively to feeling full. I realized at the end that I needed to bring out the salient points, but I didn’t want to continue with the post, so here goes.

I didn’t get this from a book or any particular program, so I’m writing in retrospect how I stopped eating compulsively. It’s like asking your grandmother for the recipe to your favorite dish. She probably doesn’t have one because she does it by feel, but she’ll try her best to reconstruct one for you

Be Extremely Gentle and Patient with Yourself

Be prepared to treat yourself as you would an adorable 6 month old who’s teething. You may get irritable and fussy. You might even slip up, but you know that you are still a wonderful person and you are worth it.

If you’ve been overeating for some time, it’s not just because you love food. Notice, I said “just”. You love food, AND you are using it for something. When you decide to stop using it, and you haven’t substituted it with something else, you will find out very quickly what you’ve been avoiding.

Allow yourself the space to deal with whatever that stuff is. Be gentle and patient. If you overeat at a meal, stop yourself the moment you realize what you’re doing and ask yourself what it’s about. Beating yourself up is not a part of this regimen. Every meal is an opportunity to learn more about your body and your emotions.

Before Taking the First Sip or Bite Ask Yourself If You Are Hungry

Your mind has a lot to do with this, but sooner or later you have to pick up a fork or spoon and bring it to your mouth. It’s scary. I know. You want to do it “right”. It’s really simple.

Am I hungry?

Get used to those three words. Sounds obvious and rudimentary, but you are learning a whole new way of relating to food. If the answer is yes, by all means sate your hunger and eat something. However, if the answer is no, don’t.

In the beginning, it’s that simple. Yes or no.

At some point, you might deign to ask yourself why you want to eat if you’re not hungry. More than likely, you’re not willing to face that question. Eventually, though, your emotions will corner you. You won’t be numb and they’ll start to taunt you. You’ll have no choice but to face why you want to eat when you aren’t hungry. More on that in a moment.

Eat Mindfully

In the beginning, give up eating in front of the television, or to a good book, or even with an old friend. Sit with your meal and savor it. You’ll be recalibrating what your mind thinks “full” is. You’ll be surprised how much sooner you stop eating when that’s all you’re doing.

Try this just one time. Put your fork down between mouthfuls. Do not begin to prepare for the next mouthful until you have completely swallowed the first one. Take a breath in between mouthfuls before you begin to prepare the next one. It feels extremely tedious, but if you do it just one time you will get a good sense of exactly how you’ve been eating and the kind of experience you can have if you really pay attention.

Create a Supportive Environment

Some weight loss programs advocate preparing your environment by cleaning out your pantry and your refrigerator. That’s great advice for rational people. Clearly, they never met someone that would drive to 3 groceries at one o’clock in the morning in search of a quart of Java Chip ice cream knowing that earlier that day said tub was thrown out.

But I digress.

The supportive environment that I’m talking about is to help you to deal with all that stuff that is buried in those pounds. The stuff that you would otherwise cover up with food, but gosh darn it, you have to deal with it now.

For me the supportive environment consisted of a regimen of walking, writing, and meditating. Walking gave me an active way to work off steam in a socially accepted way. I started out walking as exercise, but I soon learned to take a walk every time I felt intense anger in a situation where I couldn’t express it. It helped me to burn off the emotion, without burying it. While I walked, I would have conversations with myself about whatever was bothering me. I would walk until I found a place of peace.

While walking was reactive, writing and meditating was proactive. You would think that only a sadist would go digging up demons, but I didn’t want them jumping out of the woodwork. (After all, there are only so many breaks you could take during the day.) Writing helped me to uncover the stuff that was lurking beneath the surface. Meditation was the soothing balm, not a cover up, but a catalyst for healing.

Later on, I learned to flip through the numbers on my cell phone until I found someone supportive. Anything to help me to work through my emotions and not stuff them down.

A special note here that you don’t want to replace one addiction with another, or one escape mechanism with another. For example, you could stop eating when you’re not hungry, but find yourself working yourself into exhaustion. The idea here is to create an environment where it’s safe to deal with your stuff, not find alternate ways to avoid it.

Give Yourself Permission to Feel Your Emotions

It may not be appropriate to feel angry with the world, but this is a matter of survival. You will begin to feel again and when you do, it won’t necessarily be all those good-two-shoes feelings. You might feel like you just want to rage. Go ahead and feel it. You might feel like you are in the depths of despair. Go ahead and feel it. You might feel like you are sailing on cloud nine. Great! Go ahead and feel it.

Please note that feeling your emotions and acting on them is not the same thing. Just because you FEEL enraged does not mean that you need to ACT enraged. Giving yourself permission to FEEL enraged means that you let it roll through you. You acknowledge it and you let it run its course internally. Sometimes, you might feel like you’ll internally combust if that happens. In those cases, rely on the supportive environment you have created.

Love Yourself Just The Way You Are

This is as hard as it gets.

Remember in Bridget Jones’s Diary when Bridget tells her friends that the guy likes her just the way she is, and they say, “Just the way you are?” Then she says yes.

You need to do that for yourself.

You may not like the way you look in pictures, but so what. It’s temporary. You know that you are a caring, generous, kind, loving, smart, cheeky, funny person. You are marvelous and spectacular, and a great addition to this planet. Give yourself the gift of acknowledging it.

Enjoy the Journey

It’s been over a year since I have been practicing eating only when hungry and until full. I’ve lost 26 lbs, not 52 or 104. It is a process, sometimes very painful. If you want to lose 75 lbs for your wedding in 6 months, this isn’t the way to go. If you want a new way to relate to food, and express your Self, you’ve got a shot.

It’s not one and done. It’s ever evolving, but it’s fun. You’ll discover a person that you might want to have over for a cup of coffee

In Spirit,
Nneka