Jan
Balanced Life Q&A: What Is a Balanced Life?
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Once upon a time, the idea of a balanced life meant that everything was of equal importance and needed equal energy. It meant that if I spent an hour on my health, I should spend an hour on my finances, an hour on my spiritual connection, and an hour on my relationship. My life was compartmentalized and I didn’t see that time spent improving my health could mean that my relationship and finances would benefit. It was very difficult to live this idea of a balanced life especially when it seemed that I was spending 40 hours a week on finances and 30 minutes a day on spirituality. I became very resentful of the way it “should” be.
At this point, I began to examine what a balanced life really meant to me. Around that time, I also started the first iteration of this site. I changed the concept from a person juggling 5 distinct balls, to someone living a complete, whole, full life where any particular area works in conjunction with all the others. Rather than a juggler, I envisioned a ribbon twirler dancing gracefully with all the aspects of my life. Life, however, still had “aspects”. I still felt that there were distinct parts, not one life in balance.
Since I started actively writing, the site, and by extension my understanding of a balanced life, shifted. I didn’t realize it until my friend Paula put it into words in a comment.
When you asked what I thought a balanced life was, an image of a teeter-totter came into mind. I can remember as a child loving to ride up and down with my friends. I also remember the thrill of standing in the middle, or the fulcrum, while kids rode up and down at the ends. It was often tricky to stay standing when one person decided to push hard off the ground. But it was possible to stay balanced if you didn’t stray too far from the center.
As I contemplate what a balanced life would look like to me, I think it would mean staying at neutral through life’s ups and downs. Not getting too attached to the highs or to the lows. It is like living in the fulcrum AND enjoying the ride.
Today, a balanced life means to me a life in alignment with Spirit. A life where I am a channel of Spirit. All things that flow from that point seem to work together cohesively and easily. My life today is like a well written symphony. You can’t tell which instrument is doing which part, but it’s all beautiful together. Certainly, each aspect of my life does not get equal attention. Then again, it’s no longer a matter of an aspect of my life. My life is a whole entity ready to work in concert with a greater entity.
How you achieve a balanced life will depend on your idea of it. A balanced life might conjure any one of these ideas: the juggler, the dancer, or the channel. You might have a completely different idea. Take this moment to envision what your life would be like if it were balanced. What does it mean to you?
In Spirit,
Nneka
January 14th, 2008 at 9:00 pm
To me, a balanced life means one thing:
Peace.
At the risk of sounding overly existential, I really do buy into the Buddhist philosophy that if we chase happiness, we will also expose yourself to sadness. If one seeks pleasure, one will also unavoidably receive pain. To avoid pain and suffering in this world, one must transcend all that altogether.
However, life will be pretty empty and meaningless. The story isn’t complete without one more word:
Love.
Love doesn’t transcend pleasure and pain. It embraces both pleasure and pain. Peace without love is Death. Peace in the context of Love is Life.
OK, had to get that off my chest!
January 25th, 2008 at 11:12 am
A balanced life means having almost no space for regrets because you have juggled your time among the things you deem as important. hence, you will be more of a happy sort of person because there is peace and contentment inside you.
January 25th, 2008 at 4:16 pm
[...] The latest post there asks readers What Is a Balanced Life? It is a great question to think about as you decide what areas you want to work on. A balanced life to one person will not always be the same as a balanced life to another. The areas that you want to balance out might not be the same areas that anyone else is thinking about. It is a very personal question. [...]
January 28th, 2008 at 4:24 am
I agree.. it means peace of mind. Nothing material on this planet is not worth walking away from. Living in alignment to me is basically just a constant reconfiguration of the elements for positive natural results .. We tend to forget that excess is unnatural .. We need to appreciate change ..
If you look at how most people live aren’t they stressed because they want more than they need? Not to say that you can’t have things.. but there is a balanced cycle of growth that should incorporate every aspect of healthy daily life…
I think if we did this we would be happier not with the end result but just with the mere “breaths” we take… in the process.
“I just read your article on learning to meditate at age 8″ I really appreciated that…
February 4th, 2008 at 9:35 pm
You are spot on. A balanced life means something different to each individual.
The balance comes from within. It really is about being aligned with our source.
We lose sight of source as we allow ourselves to be drawn into the lives and stories of others. This is particularly true in women as we tend to be pleaser’s.
With gratitude…
February 18th, 2008 at 5:41 pm
I recently wrote something like this.
It ended up with the heart of you balancing the needs of your body and spirit lovingly.
To do that you need to understand each is real. Each part of you needs loving care.
Thank you for feeding my spirit today.
February 19th, 2008 at 4:18 am
A balanced life based on hours and numbers isn’t really a balanced life. It’s more of an impersonal life which doesn’t really make sense. My point exactly. Personally, for me, a balanced life is a life where we get to experience many things and feel many things. It’s a sense of living a pretty content life.
February 21st, 2008 at 4:53 pm
I think the key to living a balanced life is to take things one at a time, to live in the moment and be fully committed to what you’re doing right now, to mix things up a little bit and not get too hung up on a routine, to make sure each day has a little bit of each of the key ingredients without being too heavy on a single one (love, connection, work, play).
February 22nd, 2008 at 3:40 pm
Balance in life means living every moment to its fullest. And that is the trick for me. In my mind it is like a teeter totter because it is so easy to let it get out of balance. the best way I’ve found to keep it balanced is by interacting with others who have similar goals and finding support and feedback. Maybe it is more like surfing or skiing, balance with constant forward movement.
February 25th, 2008 at 11:41 am
[...] What Is a Balanced Life? I pondered this when Nneka posed this question on her blog. Peace, balance, harmony - these are synonymous words to me, and these are the key to a happy and fulfilling life. [...]
March 7th, 2008 at 9:14 am
Thank you for a challenging article!
What really jumped out for me was your point about a ‘balanced life’ not being one with equal-sized but separate compartments for each area. 30 minutes for spiritual growth, and then moving swiftly on to the 30 minute slots for the accounts, exercise, talking to life partner, walking dog, etc.
More people live a larger-scale version of this. So many months a year for work, so many weeks for retreat and renewal. Less obviously absurd, maybe, but is it really any more viable, if spiritual connection and renewal still has to be stored in its own box, away from the rest of life?
If I’ve learned one thing from a relationship with the I Ching - the old oracle, the Book of Change - it’s that those boxes and compartments are illusions. My weekly reading keeps me connected with the spiritual depths of my work, whether I’m doing readings or tweaking web pages.
So… I’ve come round to the idea that a balanced life is an integrated one. You know those diagrams that show life as a circle with differently-coloured sectors for relationship, spirit, work, health etc? My diagram would look more like a slightly blurry series of concentric circles: work inside health inside partnership inside divination practice inside spirit…
March 12th, 2008 at 1:12 pm
I love Jay’s ideas on having a balanced life. I think that’s something good to strive for — no regrets for time well spent.
March 16th, 2008 at 9:56 pm
Over the years I’ve worked with many ’successful’ people that have successfully managed all aspects of their lives except their health and family.
Needless to say I have visited a number of them in hospital weeks later when they have suffered from a heart attack.
Balance is the most important part of your life. Whether it’s work, relationships, children, exercise, health etc. It’s important we don’t focus on one aspect of our life to the detriment of another.
It is possible to be successful, healthy and have great relationships if we learn to manage us!
Craig
March 17th, 2008 at 6:28 am
My-Personal-Growth.com…
Those days are long, long gone. There is no such thing as a lifetime job anymore, you have to constantly grow and develop to stay competitive in the modern workplace. Smart professionals know that personal growth and development lead to so- called soft…
March 26th, 2008 at 10:17 pm
What an interesing question and one that i think can only be answered by each individual. i asked myself a similar question a few weeks ago, i decided i needed a balanced life to be truly happy and then had to decide for me what that was. i found that i ended up making a vision board that i could look at everyday with pictures of all the things i needed to incorporate into my life to be happy and have balance. I am going through a big life change at the moment. i would love to share my experiences with everyone on my personal blog.