Or…Things You’ll Never Read on a Personal Development Blog

With all the information on this site about staying in the moment and slowing yourself down so that you can be present, I fear I’m presenting a one-sided view to what it takes to live a happy, whole, balanced life. You see, positive thinking is about a lot more than just thinking. It occurred to me that I should provide a disclaimer so to speak for the whole thing.

Thinking Isn’t As Effective As Doing

The trick to positive thinking is to change your mind so that you take more actions that are in alignment with who you want to be or truly are. It isn’t an excuse to take no action at all. While I meditate for 30 minutes a day, I walk for 60, write for 60, work to pay bills for 480, chat with friends for about 90, and explore new worlds through books, outdoor activities, and adventures for about 90.

Positive thinking gets you to become conscious of your life and turn the ship towards more favorable waters, but you still need to row forward. Don’t make the mistake of attempting to substitute visualizations, affirmations, and meditations for daily actions.

Denial Ain’t Just a River in Egypt

I’ll let you in on a secret…the more vehemently you deny your situation, the stronger the emotions behind it and the more you create it.

Acknowledge the situation. Accept how you feel about it. Take responsibility for it. Own it. Finally, open yourself up to the solution for it and be willing to take the necessary actions.

Put Down the Hammer

Have you replaced your concept of original sin with the idea that you’ll experience hell on earth with your negative thinking? Give yourself a break!

Imagine that you’ve just realized the profound effect that your thoughts have on your life, or even that you’ve known for years. Do you think it’s more helpful to guilt yourself into thinking something positive when you find yourself with a negative thought? Wouldn’t it be more productive to acknowledge the negative thought and where it’s coming from and think instead “I prefer something better”?

For example, let’s say that you want to be financially free. You’re in a generally positive space about your finances and you can see the light. A bill collector calls about something that you overlooked. You begin to feel overwhelmed, angry, even a bit despondent. You become conscious that the thoughts about worry are starting to surface. You can say to yourself, “Crap, there I go again worrying about the situation. No wonder I continue to create this financial situation.” Or, you could put down the hammer and think, “Crap, I can’t believe I overlooked that bill. I’m really frustrated about this situation, but I can see the light. I’m really glad I finally have the resources to take care of this.”

One Thought Does Not A Positive Thinker Make

You make yourself think that life is great for 5 minutes a day, but the other waking minutes are spent fretting about bills, your health, and children. Which do you think wins out? Likewise, you’re running along in the poppy fields in your mind, but a negative thought about a co-worker pops up, do you beat yourself over the head for having that one “bad” thought?

Positive thinking works on dominant thoughts and feelings, not the once a day stuff. What’s your overriding thought about money? By and large, do you feel as though all your needs are met, that you have more than enough to spend, share, and spare? If one thought of worry seeps in it won’t mess up your entire mood. On the flip side, do you feel like you are always struggling to stay alive, do you spend every waking moment worrying? Right before bed you think, ah well, I’m going to be financially free someday. That one thought of financial freedom is drowned out in the sea of worry.

When You Jump Across the Grand Canyon You Might Fall In

Let’s stick with the money analogy. If you are constantly worried about money and you want to be financially free, it might be helpful to begin with the idea of having enough. You can make a small step from worrying about not having enough to thinking that you have enough. If even that’s a leap, you can begin by being grateful that you have enough in this moment to have a roof over your head NOW. Let go of tomorrow or next week or the end of the month. Right now you have enough to have a roof over your head.

It doesn’t make much sense to go from compulsively worrying about where your next dollar is coming from to thinking that you will work a 4-hour week. Give your mind some time to traverse the distance between those two worlds. As you take baby steps in your thinking, along with the actions to back them up, you gain success. Success fuels you to change your thoughts a bit more. Before you know it your mind is exactly where you want it and your reality is falling into alignment with it.

There’s Hope

By now, if you kept reading, you’re probably thinking what’s the point. I’m damned if I do and damned if I don’t. Not really. The thing is that you have to take baby steps. If you find yourself in an overwhelmingly negative situation and you’re thinking negatively, shift just a bit and take some action out of the situation. You’re like the donkey in the ditch. You have to take a step up and shake of the dirt, take a step up, then shake off the dirt. Before you know it you’ll be at the top of the heap.

In Spirit,
Nneka