This post is part of the Keys to Happiness Series. The keys to happiness are courage, generosity, connection, clarity, presence, non-attachment, and gratitude.

Let me tell you now, it ain’t easy, but it’s amazing when you are able to do it.

One day I was sitting around at home, listening to music and doing a puzzle and Jigzone, when I realized that I was feeling funny. What was this thing that I was experiencing? Happiness! That’s what it was. My bank account wasn’t extraordinary. My relationships were still at the status quo (still separated, same number of friends). My body looked the same. However, I felt joy welling up from within, and I was overcome with happiness. That was about 2 weeks ago.

I started to think about what changed in my life. If you’ve been following along, you know there’s been a lot of external change. More than that, though, the way I “do” life has changed. When I considered what I changed, I came up with the following keys to happiness. They aren’t a cure all, but employing them in my life has really helped me to heal and become a whole, happy person.

Courage

You are free. Despite any appearances to the contrary, you are free. You were born that way. You may make choices on this planet that go against the rules, norms, and mores of society that seem to limit your freedom, but you are still free.

At the very least, you are free to think what you will. If you live in the United States, you are free to choose any path you wish.

Take the courage to use your freedom. You can do anything you want. You may not be able to do it immediately, but you can definitely do it. Make courageous steps towards your goals. Start by having the courage to enjoy your small pleasures. You are the only person denying yourself. If you feel stressed by your job, have the courage to leave on time. That’s a tiny, tiny step that you can take towards your happiness. Use that time to discover what you prefer doing, then use the time to do what you prefer doing.

Courage is that fulcrum of life. It provides you unlimited leverage by the sheer fact that many people don’t use it. It doesn’t require radical changes. Just one ounce of courage will propel you to do greater and greater things. It has a magnificent snowball effect.

Generosity

I’m not just talking money here. Be generous with yourself. Lend your ideas to like-minded groups. There’s more where those came from. Be relentless with acts of kindness. Give of your exuberance and joy by walking through life passionately. Really engage in conversations with your loved ones.

Generosity requires courage and it makes you a bit vulnerable. It helps to loosen you up a bit more. When you give of yourself, you discover that you have much more than enough. You feel you can give more, which shows you how much more you have. When you start clutching your life, whether it’s withholding love, or joy, or kind words, or touch, or money, or time, you begin to feel suffocated. If you’re feeling suffocated now, begin to give generously. Imagine that you have an infinite amount of whatever it is.

Start with something easy, like smiles. Smiles don’t cost you a thing and they brighten everyone’s day. Smiles open doors to opportunities. You’ll find that you have so many you start referring your friends and colleagues. Opportunities lead to increased love, joy, and sometimes cash. Give it away freely.

Connection

Today, with cell phones, and email, and Skype, and blogs, and iPhones, I’m not so sure that we are any more connected. We are so scattered that we pass off surface pings as genuine connection. It’s like getting an air kiss as a greeting rather than a hearty hug. Yeah, the air kiss means that you acknowledged the person. Its chic, and quick. But the hug warms your heart. You feel like you really connect with the person.

When you hold conversations, try to be completely present with that person. For those moments, suspend your to do list. Give that person your undivided attention. Feel the connection of your spirits, beneath your appearance and the activity around you. Listen with your eyes to what they are saying. Are they smiling while telling you that everything is great in their life or do they seem like they want to disappear?

Use your time for genuine, deep contact. Make it count, so that when you are alone, you still feel enfolded and loved.

Clarity

Clarity has more to do with getting yourself out of the way. You can’t contrive the good that is on it’s way to you. Spirit is available all the time as pure good waiting to express through you. When you clear yourself and become open to that expression, you experience more of life than you could have ever imagined, let alone made happen.

Hint here, when you meditate you are bringing yourself in alignment with that goodness. For those short moments, your focus - if you are focusing at all - is on the goodness of the Universe.

Presence

Begin to live consciously, in the moment. It seems contrary to goal achievement. It’s more difficult to do than it sounds. Most of the time when people talk about living in the moment, they refer to letting go of the past. Living in the moment also means not escaping into the future.

In the present moment there are infinite choices, infinite possibilities. It is your point of power. Use the past for the lessons it taught, and the future as a compass. Now, in this moment, you can use those lessons and make the choice that is in the direction of your desired future. If you are you are reliving the past or fantasizing about the future, you are missing the possibilities that are available to you NOW.

Non-attachment

Non-attachment is tough when you’re practicing conscious creation. You feel like you have to hold a clear picture of the life you wish to have so that you can bring it into manifestation. However, there is a difference between clutching a dream and holding one.

When you clutch a goal, like say weight loss, you are attached to the result. You exercise and you weigh. You eat well and you weigh. Everything centers around the weight shown on the scale. You miss the exhilaration that you feel when endorphins are coursing through your veins while you’re on the treadmill or stairmaster. You miss the sense of pride you feel when you don’t polish off the bowl of fettuccine, not because it’s not within an allotted caloric intake, but because you recognize what it means to feel full.

When you hold a goal, you nurture it and you enjoy the journey to it. You feel yourself into it. To use weight loss as an example again. You begin to feel additional energy and you could envision a day when you are spritely and buzzing around when you couldn’t before. You choose healthier meals and you see your diet becoming cleaner and cleaner as you feel your body respond with vitality.

Gratitude

Staying in a state of gratitude is the single most effective thing that you can do to be happy. The single most effective thing.

It’s free and it’s easy to understand. Just give thanks for something. If you’re reading this and comprehending, start by giving thank for your eyes. Then for the ability to comprehend. If a friend printed it for you, give thanks for that friend. If you’re reading it on a computer, give thanks for that access.

If you’re life is tough right now, it might seem really fake to start giving thanks for it. After all, it’s not the way you want it to be. Give thanks anyway. It helps to break up the sludge that is blocking your good.

Happiness comes from deep within. It is a practice in which you have to be actively involved. The comforts of life might knock the edge off. When you tap into Spirit, you experience the peace, joy, and love that passes understanding. You experience happiness.

In Spirit,
Nneka