I’ll start of with Meditation as this is one of my most frustrating ‘tools’ that I’ve been learning. I understand the basics but there are questions that most introductions fail to address. When I drift is there a specific direction that is best to drift towards? Do you sink into yourself or ‘float’ just behind your eyelids?

– Damian

Damian’s question prompted this entire series. I’m not so sure that he was directing it towards me as it’s a few sentence in his exploration of finding spiritual teachers, messages, and guides. Just the same, I thought it was worth addressing.

Then Harveen asked this question in a comment to the post on making meditation stick.

I can’t seem to meditate no matter how hard I try!
I can’t seem to focus for longer than a few minutes. And the harder I try, the worse it gets!. Does this mean that Im afraid to go wherever the meditation will take me? Is it something in my subconscious?

– Harveen

It might make more sense if I start by saying that meditation is not a practice of getting, but one of allowing.

There are a few things you can do when your mind starts drifting. If you’re doing a silent meditation, you can gently bring your attention back to your centering device. Your centering device can be your breath, an affirmation, a phrase that you are internally chanting, or anything with you use to get into the meditation initially.

Another way to deal with drifting thoughts, is to just let them have it. This is especially effective if you are journaling or doing an active meditation. In those cases, the thoughts can continue to have a hay day on paper or in your mind. After some time, they will get exhausted and stop. You will pause. For me, it usually takes 15-20 minutes for this to happen.

In either case, “trying”, “fighting”, or “making” will not work. It’s okay to have thoughts during meditation. It’s a practice to help you clear those thoughts and tap into something deeper. It’s a practice. It can be frustrating if you have an expectation that you drop into this blissful place within moments of closing your eyes. There are days when that happens for me, but most of the time, it takes about 15 minutes to be in that place. Then at that point a stray thought still pops up. At that point I bring my attention back to my breath. The thought goes on and I am back in that place. If I try to hold onto it, it disappears. If I try to get to it, it out paces me. If I try to have it, it evades me.

The trick is to bring your focus back, not battle style, but a gentle redirection.

In Spirit,
Nneka

This article is part of the Meditation Question and Answer Series. For other articles in the series, you can visit the introduction post.