Jul
Do You Know What You Want? Part 1
Kara Leah wrote an excellent post on “The Secret” that provoked me to write this article.
We, the 28 to 38 year old women of the West, were raised by feminist mothers. They instilled in us the idea that we could do anything we want: climb the corporate ladder, raise the perfect children, be the perfect wife to our husbands. Those are our expectations now, and in today’s world we can absolutely do it.
We can go to the Ivy League schools (or the not-so-Ivy-League) and debate with the best of them to get to partner in a top law firm in 5 years. We can beat out the guys in the office and be the first to earn a 6-figure salary. We can master technology and new media to be among the movers and shakers in the Information age.
We can be the best protectors of our children with everything from car seats and bicycle helmets, to designed suburbs and 24/7 contact. We can ensure that they have an education tailored to them with magnet schools, private schools, charter schools, and home schools. We can work from home the day our son gets a skid knee on the playground and not abandon him to the school nurse. We can even pre-qualify their friends with neighborhood play dates.
We can talk about sex openly among our friends so that we have the variety to spice up our love lives. We can speak Martian with the best of them and have the perfect ear for our spouses. We can be the perfect hostess at the dinner party to impress our husband’s bosses.
We can do, be, and have anything we want. It is not a question of competence or resources. It is a question of what we want.
Are you exhausted from chasing? Have you filled your life with all the things you thought you were supposed to have only to find yourself wondering, “Is this it?” Do you recognize yourself in the mirror?
Stop. Take a breath. I am giving you permission. Life will not end. Just take a breather.
As you read this, ask yourself, “What do you want?” Ask it as if you are talking to someone else. What do you want?
Listen to that voice. What did it say? Did it say I want to take a nap, I want to read a silly book, I want to go for a walk, I want to listen to classical music, I want to drive to the beach?
In this moment, have the courage to honor that voice. Just for this moment.
In Spirit,
Nneka
PS. Stay tuned for Part 2.
July 30th, 2007 at 3:05 pm
Hey Nneka,
Do we know what we want? Or why we want it?
This is such a fundamental question, especially as related to the Secret. In my own life, I have observed that wants driven by the ego - which are usually motivated by fear or need - have a cost attached.
So I can use the Secret to attain these wants… but the spin-off creation in my life is not necessarily what I “want”.
My next step is to investigate understanding the wants of the higher self - can there be such a thing? And how can we ensure we want from the level of the higher self rather than the ego?
Much joy,
Kara-Leah
July 30th, 2007 at 6:32 pm
All that doing exhausts me. I want to learn to “just Be”.
August 1st, 2007 at 11:25 am
@Kara, you bring up an interesting point. I call it “making things happen”. I can “make” a lot of things happen, but now that I see the vast difference in level of effort I have no desire to do so. So much time spent striving and conquering. I used to get a thrill out of it, but so exhausting at the same time. Now, I surrender and I allow life to unfold. It might sound passive, but I’m still doing, just not “making”.
@Patricia, I love that line
In Spirit,
Nneka