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Do You Expect Perfection from your Spiritual Leaders?
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Four years ago, I got specific instructions to write Truth, speak Truth, and teach Truth. I hedged those instructions for, well, 3 years. I finally gave into them and started teaching and writing about spirituality here. One of the big hesitations was my idea of a spiritual leader. I was afraid I didn’t fit the mold. While, at the same time, I didn’t even want to try.
Before I share with you my idea about spiritual leaders, I’d like to know how yours are framed. Do you think that your spiritual leaders should practice humility? Do you think that they should be more in the middle class bracket? Do you think that they should never say a “bad” word? Or have you been jaded by scandals of the Jimmy Swaggart era?
What do you expect of your spiritual leaders? How do you expect them to act? What do you want them to teach you? Do you think that they should have any more experience in the “spiritual” realm than you do? And what would you define as your “spiritual” realm?
I’m really curious. Have at it in the comments.
In Spirit,
Nneka
July 24th, 2007 at 2:00 pm
My initial thought was that I expect my spiritual leaders to strive for a high moral and ethical standard, but that I’d understand failure; they are human just like me.
But then I got to thinking about the priest scandals, adultery, and other major moral messups that have occured, and I have a hard time forgiving those.
I am a firm believer in intention, and intentions of satisfaction from greed, lust, power not only harm your own karma, but often cause mental and physical harm to others; often innocent people.
So I guess that while I recognize that our spiritual leaders are human and can make mistakes, I do hold them to a higher standard. A standard we all should live up to, but because of their chosen profession, it is all the more worse when they fail.
July 24th, 2007 at 4:37 pm
I would hold my spiritual leaders to high standards. Humility, calmness are basic things which are given without even saying. I personally do not believe in Spiritual leaders I listen to them but I always maintain my own leadership. Wayne, Stuart Wilde, Deepak Chopra have great tapes and books but they are not my spiritual leader. I believe it is my quest and I have to pick great ideas from different people but work towards my greatness.
July 24th, 2007 at 5:17 pm
A spiritual leader would not claim to be a leader as such. They are simply someone who lives their truth, speaks their truth and does their truth.
Sometimes this might include ‘mistakes’, but they wouldn’t deny their humanness, and would accept responsibility for their actions.
When someone says one thing and does another… they are not living an authentic life. I wonder about this with blogs sometimes - especially personal development blogs.
I know of instances where bloggers are telling people how to be, how to live, and yet not living and being that way in their own life.
So what is the ‘mold’ for a spiritual leader? I’m not sure there is one… a carpenter can be a spiritual leader, so can a prince.
Perhaps the truest mark of a leader is someone who doesn’t tell others what to do, but shows them.
Much joy,
KL
July 24th, 2007 at 11:14 pm
Hi guys and gals, this is an interesting discussion. I have a few more questions:
- What are these high moral standards we speak of?
- Is it that there are no real spiritual leaders around or that we refuse to put our hope and trust in any more “leaders” for fear that they let us down?
- Have we just become cynics? This might extend beyond the lines of spirituality.
- If we don’t have leaders, do we rely on anyone to help us on our way? Do we hold these people to any standards?
More questions for discussion. I am very interested in all of the feedback to this question. It is a train of thought that seems to be an impediment to moving on my path. You are all helping to chip away at it.
In Spirit,
Nneka
July 25th, 2007 at 11:40 am
What a great question, and interesting comments so far.
The greatest spiritual leaders I’ve encountered are those who are transparent - they are what they are, and they don’t apologize for it. It’s something that I’m striving for on my own path.
Throwing a robe or a collar on someone doesn’t make them a leader. Anyone can go to school, take some vows, and get appointed by an organization to oversee a community. But some of the greatest spiritual giants I’ve met have been guys who have been to hell and back (do I really have to say figuratively?) , and now dedicate themselves to bringing others back as well.
I loved your follow up question, Nneka - “What are these high moral standards?” I wish I had an answer for that one! I know that back in my Evangelical Christian days, they were whatever Pat Robertson told me they were. Now, they are what my own spirit tells me.
In the end, others can only suggest, whether it’s Buddha, or Jesus, or the most recent popular televangelist. It’s up to us to use our own internal guidance, and the responsibility lies squarely on our own shoulders for our growth.
July 25th, 2007 at 7:57 pm
I think a spiritual leader has worked through most of their “stuff” so that they have a broad background of experiences to draw from. They also practice what they preach or walk the talk. They inspire me in ways I hadn’t dreamed of and demonstrate love and compassion for others. They are also passionate about their work.
July 26th, 2007 at 1:11 am
Hi. One of the most valuable lessons that I have learned is not to put my spiritual teachers on pedestals. Those, that don’t fall off, will jump off and take my high ideals with them. My last “spiritual teacher” kicked me out of her church because I demanded that she be truthful. I am back at church and she is gone. I told her I did not want her to leave. I just wanted her to tell the truth. We both had lessons to teach each other. For me, the biggest lesson was forgiveness for me as much as for her.
My spiritual teacher, before that, kept telling his class that sometimes the student outgrows the teacher. He told us this for 6 months before he and/or the Universe manifested a situation that broke up his class. It was a very difficult lesson and I was very angry with him for a long time before I could let go and just love him for what he had taught me in the 3 years that he was my teacher. I will always love him for enabling me to grow into the spiritual being that I am today.
What did I learn from these 2 teachers? Above everything else, they were humans with a human ego. But guess what? My human ego is still very much in existence too, even though my ego is in less control that it wants to be. Thanks for your thought provoking article and questions.
July 27th, 2007 at 9:00 am
@Lyman, that is a great thing that you said about spiritual teachers working on their stuff and coming back to help others go through theirs. It goes hand in hand with Paula’s comments.
@Paula, I am completely with you on walking their talk. I think the underlying cynicism that my generation (30 somethings) have to leaders in general is that they are not authentic. We can handle mistakes, we just want you to be very transparent.
@Patricia, I tend to go in the opposite direction of putting people up on pedestals. My dad always told me that no one is better or worse than I am. As a result, I have a very difficult time putting anyone on a pedestal. That’s much of the reason why I asked this question. In traditional theology, there is a great tendency to make people exceptions. I’m all about examples. Kara-Leah said it even better.
Be sure to check out the follow up post to this, where I talked some more aboutspiritual teachers and leaders.
In Spirit,
Nneka
July 28th, 2007 at 1:08 am
I was lucky to have found a spiritual leader in the late Master Choa Kok Sui. He lived his spiritual teachings, and at the same time enjoyed his humanness. There isn’t supposed to be any conflict between who we are here, and what we’re striving to become, but instead balance. And he lived both truths.
As for a spiritual teacher, I have one too, but she’s the kind who refuses to be called a teacher. She always says that we all travel our own paths, and that I’ve my own path to follow.
I think, all spiritual leaders and teachers only serve as examples, not by their teachings but by the lives the live. We should all remember, that they are as human as we are.
August 1st, 2007 at 10:55 am
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August 2nd, 2007 at 6:44 pm
I’m quite skeptical of spiritual leaders. I wonder how much of it is spiritualty and how much capiltalism. Spirituality should, I believe, be a one-on-one relationship with the higher Being you believe in. You are your own spiritual leader, in a Kierkegaardian sense. If one feels the need to follow a spirtual leader, It should someone who is aware not only of the current human condition but who can offer solace and healing to those who need it- without a cost. The only person that comes to mind that I would even come close to calling a spiritual leader would be Mother Theresa.