“I don’t know why I’m even talking to you. You are the LEAST compassionate person that I know.” Ouch!

A friend of mine said this to me one day and it hurt me to the core. Sad thing was, she was right about me not being compassionate. I know that because earlier that day I was delivering a thrashing to someone to make them feel as small as they could possibly be. The person was myself.

The golden rule implores us to love our neighbors as ourselves. We truly do all the time. Our relationships with others mirror the relationship that we are having with ourselves. Rather than a rule to be followed, the golden rule is more like a statement of what already is. What we could do to realize the benefits of the golden rule is truly love ourselves.

1. Be kind to yourself - Take care of yourself when you’re sick. Take your time in the shower or bath. Spend some time really being gentle with your body and your mind. It will help you to be kind and gentle with your neighbor.

2. Follow your dreams - Pursue your passions. They will feed you. It will help you to enthusiastically support your neighbor.

3. Be patient with yourself - As you reach for your dreams remember that you don’t have to do them overnight. Remember to enjoy the journey. Take time to savor every step of the journey, even the failures. It will help you to help your neighbor on their path when they stumble.

4. Be your best cheerleader - Celebrate every success, from your very first completed workout on your road to weight loss, to your first 5K and marathon. It will help you to liberally praise your neighbor, rather than begrudge their success.

5. Romance yourself - Take yourself on a date every once in a while. Plan the most romantic night that you can think of. It will help you to be a great lover for your neighbor.

6. Give to yourself - Give yourself the benefit of your time, talent, and treasure. Spend time with yourself, do what you love to do, and pay yourself first. It will help you to be generous with your neighbor.

7. Speak to yourself endearingly - Soothe yourself with calm, endearing words. Tell yourself frequently how much you love and adore you. It will help you to say the right thing when you need to.

8. Call yourself on your bullshit - With all the patience and endearment, be able to call a spade a spade in your life. You still don’t need to dwell on it, but you need to acknowledge it and move on. It will help you to be honest with your neighbor.

9. Forgive yourself - Learn to forgive yourself 70 times 7. When you mess up, and you will, you don’t need to replay the mistake over and over in your head. You can let it go. It will help you to love your neighbor.

10. Witness the Divinity within yourself - You will be able to see the Divinity in your neighbor.

You will be a more loving neighbor when you practice these tenets. You will also attract people into your life that meet your standards for yourself.

In Spirit,
Nneka