How Do You Know You’ve Made The Right Choice?

Unnecessary and Necessary Evil: Open Secrets Part 2 Fab 5 on Friday 03/02/07

February 28th, 2007 by Nneka -- Bookmark on del.icio.us

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Earlier this week, I had a moment of doubt. Actually, it’s been creeping in for a few weeks. I started thinking about what I was doing here on this site, whether I could really change the world or not, if spirituality really could be discussed openly, let alone applied to life, and, quite frankly, whether or not there was an audience for this stuff. I found myself chasing the end and shifting my focus from writing to links, stats, and feed subscriptions. As you can imagine, the more I concentrated on the mechanics of things and the less I focused on the content, the more doubtful I became. Hence my question on Monday, “How do you know you’re on the right path?”

As we realize we can do, be, and have anything we want - ANYTHING - life becomes a question about WHAT we want. Sometimes it’s downright petrifying to choose something, especially if you’ve made a 180 degree shift. For example, I decided that I want to raise spiritual awareness, and I want to do it in a BIG way. Now, I’m in IT (information technology). I’m a pretty spiritual person, but I don’t have any formal training in spirituality. Not to mention, that I want to do it in BIG way and I have no idea what that way is. Suddenly, my ordered, predictable, competent path along IT fell away. I could see the mountain peak, but the path to get there is obliterated. So how do I know that I’m making the right choices along the path?

I know I made the right choice when:

2 or 3 more steps are revealed to me.

This is the coolest thing. Nothing beats confirmation like 2 or 3 more openings after the first one.

So, say you determine that your purpose is helping non-profits spread their message by leveraging social media. You’re currently unemployed and you figure that before you set out on your purpose you better find a way to pay the bills. You have solid programming skills so you apply to all the IT positions, but nothing is resonating with you. You just feel like it’s draining your soul. You reluctantly go to an interview that a recruiter set up. You’re in the lobby thinking why am I here.

You walk into the interview at a Fortune 500 company and find out that they’re not just looking for someone who knows Java scripting and a little about databases. You find out that one of the current projects is with a non-profit who wants to connect the beneficiaries of their services with their donors. Not only that, but, the Fortune 500 company is looking to this project to be the prototype for other projects like this.

1, 2, 3…You’re elated, and your interest is piqued. That’s a clue that you may have made the right decision.

The struggle ends.

The clouds part and light shines from the heavens. Okay, well, maybe not that dramatic.

You may well feel like you are in a battle for your survival. Not a life or death survival, but you may be in a battle to preserve your way life. For example, I like getting service. If I had to say where my money goes, I wouldn’t say shoes or clothes, I would say service. Any vocation that I take up has to support that habit. For years I thought that I had to work 60 hour weeks while ignoring my health to do so. Then one day, I just decided to end the struggle. I wanted to find out what I was really meant to do. Every step since then has been an easier, smoother transition and today, I make decisions that ead me in the direction of my purpose. The swim upstream is over and all my needs and wants are abundantly met.

It hits me 3 times.

I gave the example on Monday of getting confirmation 3 times. I started to doubt whether I should be pursuing this writing thing, then I got confirmation 3 times (and a couple after that) that I was on the right track.

I use this litmus test when I’m really confused. I don’t look for it either. I just stumble upon the confirmations. That way I don’t end up seeing signs everywhere I turn. They just show up. I realize that this runs counter to the look-for-the-alpha-reflection camp, but I find that I can conjure an alpha reflection out of air. What’s more difficult, is for me to orchestrate 3 independent, spontaneous nods.

Sometimes, there is no way to know.

Sometimes, try as I might to read the signs or check for the path, I have no clue whether the decision I made was the right one or not. Even today, there are choices that I made 10+ years ago I can’t say were right or wrong. Their meanings unfold daily and I may not ever know for sure. Sometimes, you just have to take the leap without seeing the path and move in a direction. That’s why life’s an adventure!

In Spirit,
Nneka

Entry Filed under: Self Awareness, Personal Development, Purpose and Work

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14 Comments Add your own

1. Lyman Reed | February 28th, 2007 at 11:27 pm

I know what you mean about it sinking into becoming more and more about stats and links… it’s really easy to fall into. These things are important, but they aren’t why I’m doing what I do.

I usually know if I’m on the right path or not just by my emotions. I’m really good at denying them when I don’t FEEL like being on the right path, when I’d rather go for the short term gratification than the long term happiness, but I still know. And I’ve noticed that when I’m denying them, saying “no, thanks” to my best… well, that’s when I start to get really screwy.

Thanks, as always, for the thoughts.
2. Nneka | March 1st, 2007 at 9:34 am

Lyman, you are so right about emotions being an indicator. I’m learning to tune into them because for a long time I was of the opinion that emotions are for weaklings. (I know, it’s harsh.) They’re like a thermometer for how true I am to my Self. When I start feeling scattered and overwhelmed, I begin to act in anger, at that point I know that I’m not concentrating on the things that matter.

Lately, I’ve been using the analogy of pitching a ball. I can control my posture and release. Where it lands depends on how good I am with posture and release. The same is true for the site. I can control the content, and relationship building. Where it lands in terms of traffic and rank is out of my control, but dependent on the content and relationships.

In Spirit,
Nneka
3. Rick Cockrum | March 1st, 2007 at 11:05 am

What’s an alpha reflection?
4. Nneka | March 1st, 2007 at 12:00 pm

I think Steve Pavlina coined the term. It’s when you set an intention and you get a small manifestation of it almost immediately. Like if you want to manifest a million dollars. You would set the intention, then maybe within 24 hours you find a dollar on your walking path.

I should probably do a link
5. Rick Cockrum | March 1st, 2007 at 1:05 pm

Thank you, Nneka.
6. Alexander M Zoltai | March 2nd, 2007 at 4:35 am

Great advice!
Well-delivered, too!!

Glad you were confirmed in your writing so I can learn from you…

~ Alex
7. The Dragon Slayer's Guide&hellip | March 3rd, 2007 at 4:22 pm

Carnival of Courage #10…

Welcome to the Issue #10 of the Carnival of Courage: A Cavalcade of Superheroes! Greetings, All! Oh how I love hosting this carnival. I love it I love it I love it. I got some great submissions this week. I…
8. Author Mom DogNut | March 3rd, 2007 at 5:29 pm

The who link/stats thing can become such an addictive loop. I’ve found it easier not to bother checking at all anymore.

Hooray for you that you’ve been getting such great validation in your career, writing, and spiritual directions.
9. Personal Development Carn&hellip | March 4th, 2007 at 12:54 am

[…] First, I’ll cash in on a perk of hosting and present my submission for the week. I renewed my commitment to content this week while contemplating whether or not I was on the right track. […]
10. Karen Lynch | March 4th, 2007 at 1:13 am

I can relate so well to your post. So often, at least for me, the doubts creep in. I won’t go into detail here but it sounds as if you feel at least some of the same feelings at times and that you have learned to recognize subtle directions on the path.
Thank you for expressing it so well.
11. Nneka | March 5th, 2007 at 12:48 am

Karen, our church recently moved into a new building. About a year before that one of the guys on the board said that we would see a flashing arrow pointing to the building saying, “Move Here.” Well, it was just about that obvious, but there was still room for us to ignore the arrow. Sometimes we get in our own way. I just need to remember to step aside and let Spirit flow.

In Spirit,
Nneka
12. Bryan C. Fleming&hellip | March 9th, 2007 at 3:37 pm

Law of Attraction Edition - Personal Growth Carnival…

The Law of Attaction states, “You get exactly what you spend your time thinking about”. If you think about winning in life, you’ll win. But if you think thoughts of defeat, you’ll end up defeated.
Let’s see what our au…
13. Mystical Realm&hellip | April 1st, 2007 at 4:02 am

Carnival of Metaphysics - April 1, 2007…

Welcome to the April 1, 2007 edition of Carnival of Metaphysics. Praveen presents Viewpoint posted at Tao of Simplicity. Barbra Sundquist presents If You Lead a Meaningful Life, You Never Really Die posted at WelcomeJoy.com. Albert Foong presents The M…
14. Kara-Leah Masina | May 8th, 2007 at 8:56 pm

Here’s a thought… what if there were no ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ choices? But just choices that had particular effects? Shifting from the duality of thinking in terms of right/wrong frees us up just to trust the process…
Like someone else said, tuning into the feelings because they are great signposts along the way.
Once a choice has been made, it’s been made, it’s gone, it doesn’t exist anymore, and here you are.
Now you have new choices.
And as our path reveals itself, it becomes a choiceless one… we just know what to do. No choice to make.
You know. You’re doing it.

Much joy,
Kara-Leah