Diary of a Reforming Perfectionist
If you're new here, check out the Best of Balanced Life Center and be sure to subscribe to receive the latest updates via email or RSS feed. Thanks for visiting!
In a class the other day, the instructor gave us an assignment with specific instructions. I could hear my mind practicing the perfect way to do the task. About 15 seconds into it, I started to laugh. I was so focused on doing it “right” that I was about to miss the point of the exercise.
Today I walked into my office after a fantastic start to the day: a brisk walk in the chilled air, and a centering meditation. I was sauntering. As I approached my cube, someone was already sitting in it. “This can’t be good,” I thought. Lo, and behold, it wasn’t. I got knocked right off my center. Things started to unravel at that moment. As I tried to hold it together, it just kept spiralling. Imagine Lucy in the pie episode. Once again, I started to laugh at myself. Trying to come off as perfect was causing me pain and difficulty. When I was able to let go, admit weakness, and seek help, everything started to flow again.
Breaking the need to be right or perfect is an evolving process for me. I’ve come a long way in that I actually recognize what I’m doing and I’m okay enough with it that I could laugh at myself. There was a time when I would ram myself into my perceived perfect mold and swallow (literally with food) the discomfort. I think I spent 75% of my life to date covering up flaws in pursuit of perfection.
As a reforming perfectionist, I’m realizing that everything works out splendidly when I’m not trying to manipulate it into that state. It allows me to actually enjoy the moments, the struggles, the inconsistencies. I could laugh at myself. I’m getting closer to the point where the inclination to launch into a cover up is going away and I’m much happier for it.
Are you a reforming perfectionist?
In Spirit,
Nneka
Entry Filed under: Spiritual Growth, Personal Development
RSS feed
2 Comments Add your own
1. Susanne | January 26th, 2007 at 7:35 am
Definitely. Perfectionist and reforming. Very liberating. And much more fun.
2. Is perfectionism your pri&hellip | February 2nd, 2007 at 2:05 pm
[…] Nneka who hosts the Balanced Life Center blog recently wrote Diary of a Reforming Perfectionist–a piece which reminded me of someone I know. Though I use the terms “recovering perfectionist,” I’m glad to know that others are setting themselves free from the prison of imagined perfection. […]
Leave a Comment
Some HTML allowed:
<a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <code> <em> <i> <strike> <strong>
Trackback this post | Subscribe to the comments via RSS Feed