Balanced Life Center

Compassionate Self Discipline Part I

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Does such a thing even exist? I was introduced to the concept of compassionate self discipline by Cheri Huber’s There Is Nothing Wrong With You. The book, as the title implies, is about accepting yourself just the way you are. That was over a year ago.

At the time, I didn’t comprehend the book. I thought that it was well-intentioned. The handwriting print was endearing and lulled me into comfort. As a hard core perfectionist, though, the message of the book was lost on me. I think I’m getting it now. Compassionate self discipline is the practice of doing what you need to do while accepting where you are.

I used to think of discipline in drill sargeant terms. Every time I heard the word I would grit my teeth, buckle down, and plow through. When I couldn’t do the task perfectly or get the results I wanted, I would beat myself up, grit my teeth, buckle down, and plow through. I would repeat the cycle several times until I just gave up. My health is the area that I applied the most grit too. Always, in the end, beating myself up. I failed miserably. Finally, I decided to just let it go. So much for discipline.

It was during Bikram Yoga that the idea of compassionate self discipline resurfaced. The instructor kept referring to the “practice”. It was all about doing your best, being in the moment. When you’re 275 lbs in a room that’s over 100 degrees, it’s enough to just breathe. The first class I cried when I realized I could not be perfect. I thought it was because I was so unhealthy, but now that I’m writing I realize that it’s because my pride was broken. I started to approach things differently.

I’m new at this, but it is working for me. I practice. Everyday, I practice meditation, I practice eating only when I’m hungry, I practice being honest with myself and others, I practice seeing Myself in others, I practice being Myself. I am not perfect. When my mind wonders during meditation, I gently bring it back. If I find myself eating aimlessly, I stop. I have taken the anger and self-hatred out of the equation. It’s proving a much better method to develop discipline.

It’s not a quick fix, but I am seeing results and I feel sane.

Entry Filed under: Spirituality, Discipline

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