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This post is a part of the Season of Gratitude Series. You can participate by writing a gratitude post and telling me about it. For more details, click here.

Today I am thankful for my emotions. Let me explain.

I’ve spent almost all of my life surpressing my emotions in an effort to seem centered and composed. For most of my life I used food to do the trick. When I realized I was doing that and restricted my food by counting points and calories, I just surpressed them. On occasion they would erupt in an illness, most notably, an asthma attack.

Two weeks ago when I got really sick and couldn’t breathe, I was wondering what happened. There wasn’t any physical forewarning. One day I had a sore throat and the next I was laid out in bed. It wasn’t until I was telling people of some events that happened before I got sick that it occured to me that it was my body’s way of getting the emotions out.

As an aside, I intellectually believe that all illness is in the mind and is caused by a disconnect from Spirit. I didn’t really “get” that until I was reflecting on the events of that week.

Yesterday, as I was preparing for a huge day in the history of my church, my airways started to close up again. Fortunately, I realized what was happening. Rather than reach for the albuterol pump, I stopped and asked myself what this was about. It turns out I was excited. But rather than experience excitement and joy, I was trying to force myself to stay calm and composed. To not show emotion. Once I recognized the emotion, I gave myself permission to feel it and the air came again.

Throughout my life, I have placed a lot of emphasis on, and given a lot of attention to, my intellect and my connection to Spirit. My body and emotions were along for the ride. As I go through the Life Transformation Program and set aside time everyday to really be with my body, to move it, to talk to it, to listen to it, I have gained appreciation for its complexity and its role in my life.

Today, I do the same with my emotions. They are not to be surpressed, but to be expressed. All of them: anger, rage, sadness, joy, excitement. All of it. It’s how I experience life. True, I am a spritual being having a human experience. Human experience it is, chock full of emotions, of highs and lows and everything in between. Today I am thankful for my emotions and I give myself complete permission to experience them fully.